Review; Damn Average's Orc Dildo~!

If you're looking for something erring a little less on the high fantasy side, etsy based dildo artist Damn Average has something you may love..

The Model~

The Orc, as suggested by it's name, is a phallic dildo sculpted to replicated the thick, studded member of a fearsome (and quite frankly fantastic) Orc. Frenulum & Prince Albert piercings delight when thrusting in and out and add a little variation to the otherwise uniform texture..

The Orc was sculpted entirely by hand by Damn Average, the founding lady of the Etsy-based company. For me, this adds an entirely new charm to the actual dildo, knowing that somebody has lovingly rendered this wonder phallus right down to the charmingly asymmetrical balls.

Each of the piercings has been sculpted with such detail.. It would be so easy to just place the ends of each piercing on the phallus its self, then forget that the skin moves and distorts around the foreign material. The wrinkles around the balls of the piercings are so wonderfully accurate, showing that the artist has gone the extra mile to evoke realism to this particular toy. This is also notable around the uncut foreskin which partially covers the head of the toy, another little detail which I like.

One final mention about details.. My particular Orc had a little accident, so his shaft has a wonderful wonkiness to it.. I know, I know, that sounds so odd. It's not like.. a 90 degree angle kind of wonk, it's just a slight variation in the shaft, which makes him lovely and unique and a pleasure to use.

My Toy~

I often find myself checking Damn Average's Etsy shop in pursuit of awesomely coloured dildos, and having admired a few of the models for a while now I took the plunge.

I saw that the shop had been updated with an Orc who'd had a small incident; He'd been knocked over during curing, leading to a slight wonk in his shaft and a differently coloured silicone core where the uncured silicone had split upon being knocked over. He also has the most adorable neon green freckle on his head.. I just couldn't resist these charms, and snapped him up immediately.

The coloration I have is a take on the natural colours of the Orc; Pearly, flushed pink tip fading to a really pretty tealy green shaft. Usually the Orc would fade to a typical Orcish green shaft, however mine is a bit different.. and this makes him awesome.

Although harder than I would normally risk, I decided to purchase the toy and try DA's Hard firmness.

Damn Average offers two firmnesses, and in a nutshell these are Hard, and Soft. As of yet, there is no Medium firmness, but if in doubt simply contact her about potentially purchasing a few little samples of each firmness so you can decide.

Funny I should recommend this, really.. I should have considered my firmness choice a little more when I ordered this toy, because upon arriving with a couple of other little items I'd ordered I realised that this was way, way firmer than anything I'd used. This is the risk you take when you fall in love with an In-stock toy, though! I could have easily custom ordered a toy very similar, but what drew me to purchasing this one in particular was all of his little quirks.

DA compares her hard firmness (hilariously) to "an erect penis or roll of hard salami (no joke!) but bendier." Keeping this in mind, I purchased my Orc, however I must not have groped enough Salami (wink wink) as I found it was a lot firmer than I was expecting. Her soft she compares to "a little firmer than a gummy bear", and I agree with this mostly. My tentacle is soft, but a little firmer than I thought, but I prefer this over the Hard. It has a wonderful give to it and is must more forgiving than the Hard firmness.

DA toys do not come with any extras such as come tubes or suction cups, but she is very skilled with pigments and can cast and mix some amazing colourations! She also has a small arsenal of Glow in the Dark pigments as well as recently experimenting with body safe glitter mixed throughout the silicone to give true sparkles, not just simple shine.

In Use

As I have previously mentioned, This toy is much firmer than any other toy I'm used to. This aside, the model is just the right size without being too small.. I am somewhat spoiled when it comes to the toy sizes I can use.. Having started out with a below average capacity, I now comfortably use things much above the average measurements, yet still find this toy pleasantly filling.

The shape of this toy gives it an interesting feel when inside. It bulges a little in the center, giving a gentle stretch before tapering back in right above the balls.. Something I love as this kind of shape seems to work perfectly with my internal anatomy.

The length is perfect for those days when I'm not quite up to depth; it matches the length of an average phallus pretty damn well and this means it can be a toy for any occasion or any time in my cycle. If this toy were softer, it would be a true, all-round monthly toy, but it is a little too rough for use around my menstrual cycle.

Texture wise, this toy is completely smooth barring the heads of the piercings.. In the Hard firmness these are very intense, and can really be felt when thrusting roughly. The set that can be felt the most are certainly the Jacobs ladder down the underside of the phallus; these really strum in and out when riding and using this toy at speed, so bare this in mind when choosing your firmness. They are indeed a little too intense for me, but in a softer silicone I feel as though they would be a lot more fun!

Overall Opinion?

A great toy made from a fantastic material, The Orc is a wonderful all rounder. If you find yourself nauseated by typical phallic dildos, the Orc is just fantasy enough to take the edge off of the more true to life shape. Here are my Pro's and Cons!

Pros;

• Good size. Neither too large nor too small, suitable for both experienced and less experienced users
• Full customization to your hearts content
• Wonderful body safe material, easily sterilized.
• Fantastic Company to deal with. Super smooth sailing all the way through.

Cons;

• Silicone Firmnesses are a little hard to guage if purchasing for the first time
• Piercings may be a little rough in the Hard firmness
• Perhaps a little small for those who like big toys

So yes! Damn Average is a dream to work with and is super sweet to boot. She goes the extra mile to make her customers happy and will literally take any challenge thrown at her, truly showing how skilled she is with silicone. I look forward to seeing this quaint little company expands in to something it truly deserves. Go and nab yourself something from the shop.. You won't be disappointed~